Crossing their Minds
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: Will their thoughts join their acts?


It hurt. It always hurt somehow. Since the day I knew he was until that night he went away and never came back. I didn't try to take his hand, to catch his heart. I just looked at his figure vanishing in the dark as the floor hit my body and then I died.

It's not an endless story, just an old lie. Some legend I need when the loneliness of my life weighs too much on my heart. A mysterious dream I fell in love with; a burning whim. The dizziness of my senses joins the strength of the vodka and the last pill, supreme, helps me to close my eyes and get some sleep. A bitter one, so sharp.

Nobody knows I can be weak sometimes. Nobody knows that Will is my whole life.

We just got trapped into the nets of time. The complexity of a situation that tightened the grip on our hearts; that led us to die and draw a line under a past, a fictitious one. I stole the sweetness of her lips and captured her soul. Then failed and rushed out. Unless I always knew I would do that and so that it had to crash.

I don't really care as a matter of fact, I just let go away the whispers of her smiles because she can't be mine. Something got broken, the single fantasy of my mind. And we will keep on pretending that we're fine because this world only requires sincere lies. Painful cries. And the hopes of the night, and the coldness of her arms.

I wonder why she does that. Why she hides herself behind a fake smile. But still, in my dreams, Karen is mine.

Our love story is addicting. A unique case of platonic friendship; the search for care; a wrong habit. And the limits of our silliness that prevent me from comforting the silence of her tears. She's not that mysterious for me, just unapproachable. Something's missing so that I ease the pain and then she would feel relieved. We don't choose who we are, it's all about dealing with it or giving up and die.

And as much as she will always find my hand in the darkness of the night, she's dropping out. Little by little, her faith is turning down and I'm afraid she decides to switch off the lights for being in love with the impossibility of her soul. She doesn't need to blush or say it out loud, the delicate features of her face and the paleness of her skin when she sees him are enough to let me understand that I'm not the one she wants to get in her arms.

I know Karen too well to miss out the lines. But I will never be Will so let's just be Jack and pretend everything's fine.

What's happening that everything's falling apart? Why does love always end into cries? Or the quietness of a face and the pain in the eyes. A whole life of efforts to hide the fact we can be sad. To hide the fact he's in love with a woman. A protective lie; he's afraid I could storm out and say I don't need him to go on. But he's my light. No matter what he does, no matter what he says, no matter I'm not the right one.

I love our life. It's not a typical one; just personal, intimate and warm. Those three people are the reason of my smiles and the pride of my eyes. And even though something's weighing on our hearts right now, I won't leave them behind. I know they crossed the lines, last night. I know something happened, there, in the confusion of their minds and the darkness of our life. I just don't understand why they look so sad when obviously they found out the essence of their souls.

Feelings may be unexpected but so essential to our hearts. Will needs Karen; Karen needs Will. What are they afraid of? I don't get it. Nor Jack.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror then sighed.

She clenched her fists then drew a line under last night.

And smiled.

He turned and looked outside, how the rain seemed to pour down on his life.

He leaned his face against the wall and smiled, the French window reflecting her figure.

Lost in the background, like a ghost from the past.

A blurry one.

His fingers brushed the wooden frame of the door as a shadow passed in front of his eyes.

He bit his lower lip and tried to put aside those thoughts disturbing his mind.

He rushed inside and let happiness take possession of his acts.

Automatically.

It's so easy to pretend we're alright; to pretend we're alive.

She looked at Will leant against the wall.

She looked at Karen contemplating herself in the mirror.

She looked at Jack rushing inside and bringing life.

She looked at herself but got lost in the coldness of her mind.

She looked at her friends, her light.

And smiled.

They may need time to relieve their hearts thanks to sincere lies.


End file.
